Religion reform #12

The Toucan on night and day (The Toucan's Book, 3rd Ed., 1st chapter):

It's pretty simple so listen carefully. There are two brothers: Alf and Boxcar. One's a turtle and the other is a... I'm pretty sure he's a ferret or something. How are they brothers then? No one knows, they just are. And no, I don't know which one is which. So the first one, the turtle (possibly Alf, possibly Boxcar, I'm not sure) shows up shortly after the Earth was formed. "Damn," he says slowly, because he's possibly a Turtle, "it's pretty dark around here." And he reaches into his shell and pulls out a flashlight. One of those expensive kinds that take C batteries? And he holds it aloft to illuminate the sky.

But then the ferret shows up (Boxcar I think, but again, I'm really not too sure).  And he's late, as is typical of rodents. And as you probably know ferrets have a low tolerance for flashlight light. So he says to the turtle, "Boxcar, get out of the fucking way," (I guess that settles it) and the turtle says back, "I'm sorry, what?" But the ferret, Alf as we have established, is a bit of an asshole, so he starts to slap Boxcar around, and being tired from being up all day, Boxcar's arm drops and the sky becomes dark with night.

Exhausted, the turtle uses this opportunity to sleep while Alf minds the night sky. Alf is a big fan of the stars, and often heard to exclaim: "Sweet Toucan in heaven those stars are gorgeous."

But eventually Alf too grows tired. And when the turtle wakes, he is full of energy and has vengeance on his mind. He swiftly headbutts Alf in the chest, who collapses in pain and relinquishes control of the sky to Boxcar. The turtle raises his torch and it is daytime, once again.

In the winter, Boxcar has to drive his kids to school so it stays darker longer. That is the story of night and day.

 Who knew?