How to compose yourself after a sexual assault

1. Take a deep breath and hold it in for ten seconds.
2. Find a tub of chocolate ice cream.
3. Take a shower with your clothes on.

Words I hate

Bummer.

When people say, "that's a bummer," they mean, "oh no dude, that totally blows" but I can't help but hear a plainly descriptive term for a homosexual.

"That's a bummer.  Right there.  And look, there's another one."  If it's not working for you, try it again with an English accent.  Better?

Then again, Wiktionary says:

During the American Civil War, especially during Sherman's southern campaign, "bummers" would leave the ranks sometimes for a week or more to forage and incidentally to reconnoiter. [My emphasis.]

So I really don't know what to believe.  I'm just going to avoid the word altogether.