On stuff I refuse to wear

Jewellery

Call me cheap, but I can't see the point of solidifying my money into hard precious metal, and then melting it down, and then using more money to have experts tweeze at it with saws and pliers until it's charming enough to drape around my neck or twist  around my fingers.  I guess I'm not sentimental that way.  But I think we should all agree that ankle bracelets are stupid.

Included in my definition of jewellery are watches, but I don't wear them for a different reason.  They are a useful tool, and the more functional ones are fun to have.  (Remember Indiglo?)  I wear them simply because I do not care what time it is.  When I need to know, I reach into my pocket.  I like to put away the time when I am done with it.  I opt not to advertise the time on my wrist; like a shackle of memento mori, tugging our arms gently forward into oblivion.

(Please don't call me cheap.)