Altar boys

Dear anyone who will listen,

I am sick and disgusted by the depiction of altar boys in the media.  We are not all weepy, molested, Priest-suckers.  Some of us spent our years in the church employing common sense, and avoiding those situations in which we may get diddled by a clergyman.

I can't even tell my friends that I was an altar boy without them assuming I once blew a Priest.  The vast majority of altar boys escaped that treatment, and deserve some recognition of that fact.  Not every little boy is tempted by promises of candy or special treatment.  But then not every little boy is fucking retarded.

I certainly do not want to make light of the horrible plight of some my brethren, but I think they would agree: the public image of the male acolyte is served best not by some molested sack of marbles, but by a proud unsullied member of society such as myself.  Let us carry the torch so that you may shine (in your special way).

Just kiddin',

Harvey Kornbluth