A shiny black man offered me a flyer as I was walking down Yonge Street the other day. It had the words "black history" on it in sizeable block letters and looked like it had been photocopied a thousand times -- so obviously I was interested. Smiling, I reached reached out to take it, but the shiny black man wouldn't let go of the sheet.
SBM: Brother, I see that you are on the go, but maybe I could have a few minutes of your time?
I considered this. It was Saturday. I had absolutely nothing to do. I was on my way to kill time at a coffeeshop, and even this option was on the table for review.
Harvey: Sorry, I'm actually on my way to meet a client. He called an emergency meeting. I really shouldn't be late.
SBM: (Agitated.) Then why did you stop?
I didn't expect it, but it was a good question. Was it because my attempt to pull the flyer out of his hands like a relay baton and keep moving was thwarted by his simple tug of a sales tactic? Yes, but I decided to lie instead.
Harvey: Well, I've recently become really interested in the plight of the colored man in modern society.
The "recently" was a nice touch. I knew that. I'm not sure I needed the "modern society" part, but I thought it added some credibility. Perhaps I'm uninterested in of the colored man's struggle through antiquity? But then why am I reaching for a flyer emblazoned "black history"? I didn't think this through, and the man didn't like it. (Saying "colored" was probably a red flag too.)
SBM: Say what?
Harvey: I mean, I'm really interested in black history. I just don't have time at right now to talk about it. Do you guys have a website or --
And, making sure to pronounce each word (so I would understand him this time):
SBM: Then why did you stop.
This wasn't a question. I don't think he was looking for a response, much less a flippant one.
Harvey: I thought you were giving away free gifts?
SBM: Man, get outta here.
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