Who are these people, and why do they keep getting iced? Exactly zero teenagers I knew growing up meet this description, including me. I had mostly Bs and Cs and sought various mild forms of trouble. As for "helpful" and "always had a smile on his face"? Fuck that.
Most teenagers are fucking assholes. Egotistical nitwits that contribute zero to society and produce nothing but poorly-worded scorn and video game scores. I'd happily execute a couple a day with a crowbar for exercise. I'd snap their fucking skateboards in half too.
But I digress. Really, I'd just love to read an honest news story about a teen that died. To wit:
OAKVILLE — Barely 7 people gathered on the weekend for a half-hearted candlelight vigil at Coronation Park to pay tribute to murdered teenager and local jerk Harvey Kornbluth.
The remains of the 17-year-old man were discovered in a remote, wooded area in Coronation Park surrounded by Crispy Crunch wrappers and pornographic magazines. An autopsy detected lethal amounts of stab wounds to his head, face, mouth and cranial area.
He had also been shot through the chest.
Kornbluth, who was last seen 12 November, was not well-liked by his school or community. An average student, he did not belong to any clubs or groups. He was known for his drunken-outbursts, his unkempt appearance, rowdy behaviour, and making out with your girlfriend. Many students didn't know him, but those who did said they remember a bitter man, who was always ready with a snide or awkward comment.
Among those who attended Saturday’s vigil were a couple of relatives, and three acquaintances hoping to collect on debts owed to them. Chuck Kessler was among the mourning visitors.
"Harvey touched a lot of lives," he said. "And almost exclusively in a negative way. There aren't a lot of positive things I can say about a murder, but [Kornbluth's subsequent non-existence] is probably one of them."
Kornbluth's only cousin, who asked not to be named, said he’s overwhelmed by the number of people who have offered their support and condolences to his family.
"It's surprising; he was really such an asshole." he said. "And a pretty weird guy. What was he doing in that forest anyway?"
The loss will prove inconsequential to the community, as Kornbluth was a staunch non-contributor and misanthrope. Vigil organizer Lisa Dupont said she wanted to see if any of the guests would know about the $130 Korbluth owed her.
A funeral will take place this Thursday at St. Jude's Church. Police have a suspect in custody who has confessed to the killing. They are considering laying charges.I'm glad I lived to not see that one.
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