With any luck, this new leader of North Korea will launch some nukes and initiate the destruction of the planet sometime next year. From what I understand Kim Jong Un is angsty and inexperienced, which I hope manifests itself as a penchant for nuclear holocaust. Push that button K-JU.
Because dammit, I tire of resolutions. I've done it a few times now, and I don't think I should face another year on this bumpy ride called Earth. And don't mistake this attitude as suicidal. Please. I don't think you should face another year on this watery top either. Let's call the whole thing off, and see if the birds can fare better. Twenty-eleven clinched something that we've all suspected deep down: humans have failed at life.
In 2011, I learned how to distill hate into enmity (metaphorically), and that dairy upsets me (digestively). Other than that, my annual report is thin, terse and tinged with loathing — and fabricated sales figures.
Like the underside of a barge, my spirits cannot be dampened; they are too soaked. I resolve to eat better and quietly hope that in the not-far-ahead future we all are positively drenched in radiation poisoning.
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