In preparation for a date

First dates make me nervous. I hear second dates are less nerve-wracking, but I wouldn't know. A detailed breakdown of my pre-date ritual and the time taken for each step:

1. Prepare and consume buttered toast and Earl Grey tea. 9 minutes.
   
2. Clear space on my floor to do push ups. 22 minutes.
   
3. Do push ups until exhaustion. 14 seconds.
   
4. Disrobe. 15 seconds.
   
5. Flex muscles in mirror. 2 seconds.
   
6. Lower eyes, shake head with sense of with self-loathing. 1 second.
   
7. Turn on shower, find temperature "sweet spot". 2 minutes.
   
8. Shower. 15 minutes.
   
9. Wash face, apply lather and shave. 6 minutes.
10. Apply after shave, wince in pain. 1 second.
    
11. Point at cleanly-shaven self in mirror with head cocked "charmingly". Wink. 1 second.
    
12. Lower eyes, shake head with sense of self-loathing. 1 second.
    
13. Sigh. 14 seconds.
    
14. Apply deodorant. Put on socks, underwear and jeans. 3 minutes.
    
15. Lay fourteen T-shirts on bed and begin selection process. 22 minutes.
    
16. Put on T-shirt and review in mirror. Take off shirt in disgust, ponder canceling date and pace around bedroom frantically. 5 minutes.
17. Take off T-shirt. Lift lid of toilet. Vomit and cough violently. 8 minutes.
18. Brush teeth. 2 minutes.
19. Look in mirror and sigh. Lower eyes, shake head with sense of self-loathing. 2 seconds.