On dilly-dallying and procrastination

Let's face it, I'm presently blocked like a bran-less uncle. Instead of writing, I've squandered the past few weeks straightening out my trinkets, drinking, recovering from drinking, finding and using opportunities to play Guitar Hero, and not-vomiting. There is also some casual drug use thrown in there. But no writing.

And almost as though with purpose, I have snatched each free moment from the task of writing and doled it carelessly to some other lesser duty --like the aforementioned drinking and trinket-straightening. I face the blank page like an erstwhile lover and think to myself: I never really loved you, did I? Damnit, how am I gonna get back my stuff?

Well, enough is enough. Here are some of the ideas percolating in my head, that we can expect to see in the near future:

• Definitive recipe(s) for general success at everything
• Autobiographical rap
• Libretto to comic opera: "The Vainglorious Defeats of Freddie Fred Frederickson, Champion Bowler."
• Rant equating Steven Malkmus to the Devil
• Short story about a dwarf entitled "Short Story"
• Listery and other compilification
• Theory of everything
• Libel
  

This should in some small part motivate me off the soft drugs, and into the soft folds of creative endeavor. (Not quite sure what that means.) I just have to get some not-vomiting out of the way, and I'll get right to it.