Meta melee or: an overdue why

A confidential letter to my audience of one,

Hey.

Since you are reading this, my diary of my personal ramblings and partially-digested creative concoctions, I can safely assert that you are on some level, a creepy lurker. Of course by the same token, the fact that I know that you are here probably makes me just as creepy (and lurky). Considering all this, it's a wonder we're not better friends.

Writing something this overt is somewhat cringe inducing for me -- especially considering this blog's narrative conceit. And I apologize for the face-warming sense of embarrassment that reading such a missive may cause; laundry lists about things I hate are far more palatable, I know.

But at least this post is unique; for what may be the first time in my writing I am trying to make a point. But I'm not sure what that point is.

The fact is, the moment our relationship crumbled from an virtual epistolary into meta e-lurking extravaganza, things have not been the same. And those short but sweet moments of contact in the Real World, though awkward, were actually -- OK, they were awkward. Let's leave it at that.

But oddly, after all this time -- here you are. Pondering that, I realise that maybe I'm not trying to make a point at all, but rather trying to clarify one.

You are (still) here, and reading this jumble of half-truths, bizarre belles-lettres and bulk incongruity, and I don't mind at all. I just don't know why. For the witty dialogues and poetry about soap? Surely not.

So I am left bemused, and possibly writing to a spectre, and asking the long overdue "why"? It really is my favourite question, but it's the hardest for me to ask. (I'm easily stunned by contradictions.) By the time I get around to it, the end credits are rolling skyward and the audience has begun its slow shuffle into the aisles.

So why are you here, my gentle reader? And to close with an opener: how have you been?

Yours truly,

Harvey


P.S. Those were clearly rhetorical questions. This letter is obviously about God.