Say something funny

It doesn't happen much, but I still I hate it when people ask me to "say something funny". It's an imperative that's tantamount to saying "impress me!" or "blow my mind, now!"

On such occasions I find it useful to grin broadly and recite something like this:

OK, so this guy walks into a toy store and asks the clerk behind the counter where they keep the dolls. So the clerk asks him, "why do you want to know where they keep the dolls?"

And man replies, "well, I want to buy one for my daughter," and he's kind of surprised at the question, but he doesn't say anything more.

So, the clerk thinks this is fair enough, and he leads the man to the back of the store and to a small room with a locked door. He opens the door but instead of dolls, there's only this dumpster filled with bloody human torsos.

The man is horrified and asks, "what's this?"

But the clerk just laughs and laughs.

Now is a good point to start laughing as a cue that this is the end of the joke. And loudly. And a lot. I typically aim for about forty-five seconds or so of maniacal laughter when telling this little ditty; that usually gets the point across.