Stolen sunglasses

It can be really, really difficult talking to my friend Darryl:

Darryl: Hey, Harvey.
Harvey: Darryl. How's it going?
Darryl: Well, I sorta had a date last night.
Harvey: Sorta?
Darryl: Well, I mean... yeah, sorta.
Harvey: Try to explain.
Darryl: OK, so I was waiting for the streetcar, right? Well, sorta.
Harvey: You were sort of waiting for a streetcar.
Darryl: Well, I started walking to Brant's, which is far, so I was constantly looking over my shoulder to see if a streetcar was coming.
Harvey: Of course.
Darryl: So, I was walking. And as I was walking I noticed this girl was following me.
Harvey: She was following you?
Darryl: Well, sorta.
Harvey: Explain.
Darryl: Well, she was in front of me, so I guess technically I was following her, but she seemed to be doing the same thing as me. She was looking back for a streetcar, and at me, every fifty paces or so. Then she stopped.
Harvey: She stopped looking back?
Darryl: Well, yes. But that's because she stopped walking.
Harvey: She stopped walking?
Darryl: Well, she slammed into a newspaper box while looking back for the streetcar. Then she fell to the ground after that.
Harvey: OK. So then what happened?
Darryl: Well, I ran over to help her up. She was fine though. She just kept walking after that.
Harvey: OK, so you "sorta" went on a date with this girl?
Darryl: No, not her. I never saw her again. But anyway, luckily she fell right at a streetcar stop. And one was coming by, so I got on.
Harvey: Are you getting to this date, or what?
Darryl: Yeah, I am. I’m explaining. So I was wearing my sunglasses, right?
Harvey: I suppose yesterday was sunny enough to justify sunglasses.
Darryl: Yeah. And on the streetcar I notice this girl standing next to me is staring at me. Out of the corner of my eye.
Harvey: She was staring at you?
Darryl: Sorta. Like she was looking in my direction, at least it seemed that way, and I could sorta make her out standing there.
Harvey: OK?
Darryl: So I turned to her, to see if she was staring at me.
Harvey: Right.
Darryl: But she wasn't. In fact, she was looking in a completely different direction.
Harvey: Fine.
Darryl: Well, sorta. She wasn't looking at me though. I was way off.
Harvey: So what happened?
Darryl: I just stared at her for a while.
Harvey: You stared at her?
Darryl: Well, sorta.
Harvey: That's creepy.
Darryl: But anyway, she turned to me and asked me what I was looking at.
Harvey: Obviously. What did you say?
Darryl: "Nothing."
Harvey: You said nothing?
Darryl: I said "nothing".
Harvey: Why didn't you say anything?
Darryl: I didn't. I said "nothing", like the word 'nothing.'
Harvey: I see.
Darryl: But then I said, "well, sorta". Because I really wasn't looking at nothing, but at her, but only because I thought she was looking at me, but I was surprised when I noticed she was looking in a completely opposite direction.
Harvey: You explained all this to the girl on the streetcar.
Darryl: Yeah.
Harvey: And what did she say?
Darryl: Well she said that she was actually looking at me, but turned away when I looked back at her.
Harvey: The plot thickens.
Darryl: I was confused, but I asked her why she was looking at me. She said she liked my sunglasses.
Harvey: She was looking at your sunglasses?
Darryl: Sorta. She was looking at me in my sunglasses, and she thought they looked good on me, and that got her thinking about how she needed some new sunglasses.
Harvey: This is a pretty long story.
Darryl: I know. So anyway, I told her that I got mine from McGann's downtown.
Harvey: That guy is a total douchebag, I can't stand him.
Darryl: I know. That's what I told her, but she had never heard of the place. She asked me if I could take her there.
Harvey: So you took her there?
Darryl: No, I was on my way to Brant's. So I told her that I could meet her the next night. And I'd walk her there.
Harvey: So this was your date? Shopping for sunglasses?
Darryl: Sorta. So we met the next night at McGann's. And they had a pretty good pair of frames that she liked. And then she sorta stole them.
Harvey: Sorta?
Darryl: Well, she threw them in her purse when the sales person wasn't looking. Then she grabbed my hand and we booked it. She said her uncle was an optometrist and could cut the lenses for free.
Harvey: That's not "sorta" stealing. This girl sounds nuts.
Darryl: Sorta. She's nice enough though.
Harvey: Is she cute?
Darryl: Sorta. She has really pink cheeks.
Harvey: I see.
Darryl: After we stole the frames, we went to that coffee place on Bernard. She told me about how she grew up in the suburbs with her older brother, and her parents were always travelling, because her dad was some kind of geophysicist, and so her brother threw crazy parties and the cops were always showing up and throwing her brother in jail, and she would hide in the laundry room pantry and so on and so on. It was a long fucking story.
Harvey: Like this one? Sounds like a match made in heaven.
Darryl: Well, sorta. So then she suggested we go back to her place, and she tied my arms to her bedposts while she basically assaulted me with her mouth.
Harvey: That's hot.
Darryl: Sorta. She was kind of a weak kisser.
Harvey: Oh.
Darryl: But anyway, we had to cut it short when her boyfriend came home.
Harvey: She has a boyfriend?
Darryl: Sorta. It's actually her calculus tutor. Her parents got her one when her grades started slipping. But she makes out with him from time to time, to keep the lessons short. But he's the jealous type.
Harvey: This girl seems like a slut.
Darryl: Well, sorta. I got the impression that she's never really--
Harvey: Wait, calculus tutor? How old is this girl?
Darryl:
Harvey:
Darryl: I guess I could ask her tonight.
Harvey: You're seeing this girl again?
Darryl: Well, sorta. We--
Harvey: I gotta go, Darryl.