Words I hate

I'm not typically a fascist where grammar is concerned, but the misuse of certain words does bother me. Now, I have some sense of proportion about it -- I tolerate the near-constant and daily abuse of "hopefully", "impact", and "contact" -- but in some instances, I lose my otherwise steadfast grip on reality. I am of course talking about the collective assault on: "momentarily".

This is a word used to signify "in a moment". As in "please stand by, our operators will be with you momentarily," or "the train will be arriving momentarily," and so on. But what it actually means is "for a moment"; temporarily, fleeting, non-permanently.

There is difference, obviously. "I'll be there soon" is different from saying "I'll be there briefly". So when a train is running late, one should say that the train will be arriving "presently", or "in a moment", or "soon".

To me, when I hear someone say that a train is arriving "momentarily" I cannot help but envision a scene of a train slowly pulling in to a big city train station, approaching a platform overstuffed with would-be passengers co-mingling in the noise and steam of the approaching engine. And as the train crawls to a stop, the people are nervously sweating and waiting, gripping their luggage and whitening their knuckles. The conductor who's safe from the sea of sweating bodies, leers at the crowd as the train ominously strafes along it.

At the same time, an obscenely large digital clock lowers from a high-up vent in the train station ceiling.

Then, the conductor blows a whistle, and the digital clock blinks "60:00" and begins to count down, second-by-precious-second, with the persistence for which time has no equal. At once the sea of bodies is a tsunami. As the train doors slide open, it's bloody murder; the tide of bodies crush against the locomotive, violently, desperate to get on the train before time runs out. The conductor watches the scene with pity; the heads of small dogs can be seen poking out of suitcases and backpacks, somewhat safe from the violent clash. Children are literally thrown through open windows to relatives fortunate to have made it inside; old men and women bribe young coolies to hack through the thicket of people with cudgels and fists. As the time ticks down and people are still pushing and shoving and there are fist fights breaking out at every train door, and helpless single women blow men in train station restrooms in exchange for a strong arm to meander them through the crowd --and it's like fucking Marrakesh-- as the time ticks down down down people are still piling in the cars, fighting, beating and bleating. The train whistle blows, and in the final seconds the defeated jump back from the growling locomotive, collapsing despondently on the half-emptied platform with their luggage -- if it hasn't already been thrown on the train. The engine and cars are covered with bodies as the locomotive begins its slow crawl into the daylight; most are dusted off by vibrations as the train leaves the vast hangar; others are maimed between the steel wheels and track. As the platform grows quiet under the looming digital clock, emblazoned with zeroes, the survivors collectively sigh -- and curse the casual misuse of words like "momentarily".