A real post on Craig's List

I'm sorry to divert us all from my usual practice of arbitrary nonsensery, but I must pause here to share a fragment from the Real World.I read the personals from time to time [all the time --ed]. Largely the works are uneventful dross stippled with exclamation points such as:

Hot Single Women looking for Single guy - 21

Im 21, 5'1", green eyes, large dark brown hair. I am fun, atractive and have a great personality. I am looking for someone who knows how to make me laugh and knows how to have a great time. I love watching movies and playing on my xbox360I love watching hockey and going to the games!! GO LEAFS GO!!Hope your interested in chatting!! hope to hear from you soon!!

Go Leafs go, indeed. But that was not the purpose of this diversion. Rather it was to draw attention to another ad; something Intense. In its entirety:

I’ve been tossed from exhaustion to exaltation - 38

… and back again, so this time I’ve decided to post.I’m a very attractive fit black woman and to say anything less would be dishonest as I am not vain. I’ve produced an even more attractive being that most mistaken us as being just friends. I don’t smoke nor do I drink. Drugs have never been my thing. I do however have a full strength personality that to add any substance internally would mean that you’d be savouring me less.

My match is a very strong man both physically, and mentally. One who takes pride in himself and the things that surrounds him. A psychologically matured male who has no difficulty differentiating between the id, the ego, and the super ego as I offer a grandiosity in which this type of stamina in character is required. I’m creative, outgoing, very sensual, and I can think of no better way to decompose life than to sway back and forth during the wee hours of the night.

As I am a model I do have many pictures available for viewing, but was raised by a female activist so gentlemen after a brief description please post your images first.

Thank you so much for having me!

No, thank you; it's not every day I encounter a model with grandiosity. I went a little numb after reading this, actually. To say I am not man enough for this woman is an understatement. I'm not even woman enough. I can barely differentiate the anima from the animus, let alone the ego from the id. I'm leaving this project to the big boys/slow motion suicides/princes of small African nations/whomever. That bitch is crazy.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.