This too shall pass

For those of you who celebrate Christmas in all its crass, commercial, tacky, hyper-festive glory, good fucking luck. It's not easy having to maintain the façade of Santa Claus' existence, all the while maxing out your credit cards, and enduring your family during the simulacrum of altruistic spirit and joy that we call "the holidays."

If I sound a little bitter, it is because I am not yet drunk. As the Turks are fond of saying, "this too shall pass."

Anyway, in all seriousness, today we celebrate the birth of a man whose impact is still felt today: via tinsel and shitty movies on TBS. Let's all take a moment of silence and remember this staggering fact.  For all the good accomplished by this bearded hipster (and, like, whatever), he probably would have kept his mouth shut could he have foreseen the inside of a Walmart on Christmas Eve.

Or at least should have.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, Merry Christmas.