Watermelons are stupid and I don't like them

It can be really, really hard talking to my friend Darryl:

Darryl: Hey, Harvey.  Just the man I want to see.  Let me ask you a few things about watermelon.
Harvey: OK...
Darryl: Well, do you like it?
Harvey: Not really.
Darryl: I hate it.
Harvey: I see.
Darryl: I suggest you get on board.
Harvey: On board... hating watermelon?
Darryl: Do you know how many watermelon-related fatalities there are every year in Canada?
Harvey: I'd guess zero.
Darryl: I don't have the figures right now, but I'm sure you're wrong.  And what about the fact that it perpetuates racist stereotypes?
Harvey: Watermelons perpetuate racist stereotypes?
Darryl: You know exactly what I mean.
Harvey: I think what you're trying to say is: you're a racist.
Darryl: Exactly.
Harvey: Just to clarify, the "you" I was referring to in my previous statement is not the general you.  It's you.
Darryl: Ever fucked one?
Harvey: I don't know what to say.
Darryl:
Harvey:
Darryl:
Harvey: Please don't say something racist here.
Darryl: Have you ever fucked a watermelon?
Harvey: What? Why would you do that?
Darryl: It feels amazing.  You drill a hole in it then warm it in the microwave for seven seconds.  And not a second longer.  I'm serious.
Harvey: Wait, how does that even fit?
Darryl: Well, you can use your finger--
Harvey: I mean, in the microwave.  How do you fit a watermelon in the microwave?
Darryl:
Harvey:
Darryl:
Harvey: So you haven't actually tried this.
Darryl: Not yet, but it's gotta be pretty awesome, right?
Harvey: I gotta go.