The sincerest form of self-criticism

Ron Bruce: The political process has really taken it's toll on you Mr. Firth. Surely, your repeated failures have affected your Weltanschauung, not to mention your reputation in the political arena. Even your sallowed and worn appearance suggests that you long for a respite. At this point in your career, does the sight of every open window tempt you with a promise of liberation from the endless drudgery that has become your life? And what about your plan for health care?

Gerry Firth: I'm glad you asked that question. Although the election results were disappointing, I would have to say that on the whole, I'm not ready to give up just yet. My faith in the good citizens of this country, and of course God, is what helps give me the strength and determination to carry on and continue to stand up for what I believe in. That said, health care is a very complex issue. I think it's something that will require cooperation within the House in order to satisfy the needs of everyday Canadians.

Bruce: Even so, you're in tall buildings quite a lot. Don't you ever see a window and think: "hey, what if I just popped through?" That doesn't appeal to you at all?

Firth: Again, no. I'm made a commitment to my family, and my constituents to serve them the best way I know how. My plan for Canada is three-tiered --

Bruce: Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Firth, but that reminds me briefly of your campaign. Top analysts have called it, "blunderfest". For example your slogan, "Firth First". Did you come up with that?

Firth: It was my son, actually.

Bruce: It was pretty terrible.

Firth: The way I look at it, maybe voters weren't ready for the particular ideas we brought to the table. I think when you're trying to bring about new ideas and dialogue, there is always going to be a bit of a learning curve with the public, and that things take time. Now that we've had some time to look back at the campaign, I would have done a few things differently. For example, we would focus more on my plans for tax cuts and emphasize spending on education.

Bruce: Speaking of cuts, how about slashing your wrists? You do know that it's along the vein right -- not across it?

Firth: I do know that.

Bruce: Yet...

Firth: I am not interesting in pursuing something like that at this time.

Bruce: Fair enough. My uncle killed himself on sleeping pills and vodka. It's sounds pretty easy actually. Perhaps even fun. I know that 'efficiency' was one of the three tiers--

Firth: Listen, I'm not committing suicide.

Bruce: You're a washed up hobo, Gerry. Do it.

Firth: This interview is over.

Bruce: Thank you for your time.