So I finally got around to making a list of new year's resolutions. (I know it's late, but seriously, step off, I've been busy.) Having endured almost a quarter century of trite, unbelievably-predictable, and totally-unfair bull-shit, I've come up with a few whammies to really make 2007 shine. (Like a 2007 quarter, for example.) Here are the maxims by which I will live this year:
- Scotch is not for breakfast.
- Women do not want to be my "partner in crime". So stop asking.
- Reading Utne impresses no one.
- Homeless people ARE people, in spite of their smell, demeanour, shoutings, etc.
- Nothing tastes as good as thin FEELS.
- Apathy is not my way of "keeping it real".
- I will not deny the holocaust on my birthday.
- Ain't no party like a west coast party.
- I'll stop stalking (all of) you on Facebook.
- Enough with the lists already, God-damnit.
I'm also going to cut down on the cigarillos and visit the gym more often. Having just made these I haven't broken any so far. So I've got a leg up on most of you assholes.
Twenty-oh-sev's lookin' alllll right.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Like, you know, whatever.