Creating idioms (from scratch)

Do "expressions" "always" have to "make sense"? (You know, you can emphasize just about any word in that last sentence, and I'd be pretty happy about it.) Try:

• He was hairier than a sheepdog after Thanksgiving.
• Bob spends money faster than Chinese lesbians at a fireworks factory.
• I haven't heard anything that ridiculous since I started getting colonic irrigations down at the auto body shop.
• Suzie is dumber than a pair of pliers glued to a shoebox.
• I'm hungrier than the world's oldest Snickers bar.
• Watch out: Jimmy's angrier than a truck full of one-armed monkeys.
• Why buy the cat, when sausage is readily available?
• Woo-ee, this salsa is spicier than a Mexican stripper's asscrack!

Actually, I think I might use that last one.