Think O.J. is bad after brushing your teeth? Try during. * Trying to save time during your morning commute? Bac'n'eggs smoothies. "I can taste the pancakes!" * Oh no! I spilled grapefruit juice on my shirt! You need INSTA-SHIRT: shirt in a bag. Open bag, remove shirt -- instant shirt! Thanks, INSTA-SHIRT! * What are you having for lunch? Baloney. Again. Have you tried BALONEY WONDER? What's that? Ha, don't ask dumb questions. BALONEY WONDER. * I don't care for comedy. Too much thinking. I prefer violence against the elderly. You KNOW how to feel about that. * Ever lose a quarter in a urinal? Tough decision isn't it? * Get in the car! Why? Do I always have to give you a reason? But I've never seen you before in my life! * Instead of giving to the poor, why don't we just NOT take from them. It's a little easier -- and it's a good thing. * This holiday season, get her drunk. * What's for dinner? It's CHURKEY! Chicken from Turkey! * Chicks dig comparisons that don't make sense. They're a lot like Belgians that way. * Trying to lose 50 lbs? Your leg is about 30. * Guilt-free desserts: unlike ice cream that kills.
I'm as confused as you are.
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