Am I the only one that's sick of seeing these commercials offering free sterilizations to the homeless and mentally handicapped? Like, I'm watching the game, and I can't get through a single inning without a heavy-set woman coming on TV and telling me: "do the right thing." You know what I mean? Leave me alone. I'm trying to eat a hotdog here!
And speaking of hotdogs, I'd like just once to be able to eat a steak without someone from PETA stripping naked and taking a dump on my plate at a restaurant. Has this happened to you yet? Let me tell you, it's more than a little bit annoying. These people are militant! I mean the naked part I can get behind. Some of these broads are lookers. I guess eating nothing but quinoa and walnut stew will do that for you. But when they climb up on to your table and start defecating? Major turn off. And that's when your waiter becomes impossible to find too. That's the worst.
How many people here drive to work? I know what it's like. I used to take the same route to work for five years, and it was terrible. I'd see the craziest stuff on the freeway too. Like women doing their makeup, or people eating food. This one time I saw a guy drafting, writing and publishing a three volume book on his steering wheel. The whole shebang. He had paper notes, a small word processor, an English dictionary, and a printing press on his dashboard. And I thought listening to audiobooks while driving was being productive. This guy is writing sequels and changing lanes at the same time. Oh, and it was a pretty good read — but I had to get off the highway by chapter three.
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